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Sunday, December 15th, 2013
2:48 pm - "There is nothing in the desert, and no man needs nothing."
A part of me darkens with each bottle-battling, Anglo-Irish, '60s Shakespearean actor who fucks-off to infinity or oblivion. Thank you, Peter O'Toole. I think there's some Glenfiddich in the cabinet.


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Monday, November 14th, 2011
12:27 pm - percontation point?
Interesting Wiki on the history of snarky, ironic punctuation. Today, we'd just use a tampon symbol & a picture of David Spade.


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12:17 pm - all this & allen ginsberg

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Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
2:11 pm - felix anus novus
New Year's res #1: Fully embrace Keatsian Negative Capability.

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Tuesday, April 13th, 2010
9:23 am - good day to skip breakfast

Watched a woman today on the train, trimming her toenails, staring distractedly as they accumulated on the floor like pork rinds. Then, ignoring my stares, she pulled on her flip-flops and went back to reading People Magazine.

current mood: nauseated

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Monday, April 5th, 2010
4:12 pm - a dead man in deptford

Reading a novel on the life of Christopher Marlowe. The secret, as with any life, is not letting knowledge of its end ruin your joy at the events in progress. Also, FYI: BBQ & yerba tea give you a wicked case of the farts.    bit.ly/akLYGN

current mood: contemplative

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Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
5:55 pm - vague, beige, shadow-filled fiction

Stilted sentences? Check. Gratuitous drug references? Got ‘em. Rich-boy-pining-for-authenticity dialogue? Oh, yes. James Franco is a good actor & a cool guy. This said, Esquire should just hire Perez Hilton as their new literary editor and jump the shark in style.

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Sunday, January 17th, 2010
12:02 pm - Pat Robertson Is An Asshole
The despicable subtext of Pat Robertson's Haiti comment is that these people had it coming. Parsing the illogic of religion is pointless, like an all night, wooly, junior college bong-session; expecting religious parables to be logical is like busting the Buddha for not lowering his cholesterol. Let's write 'Pat Robertson is an asshole' and call it a day.

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Saturday, October 31st, 2009
9:33 pm - world's tallest midget

Krikey. It's like Willy Wonka meets Lord of the Flies out there. Next year, I'm dressing as a guy who got a vasectomy.

Just read the headline, 'The best writing John Grisham has ever done'--Pat Conroy. Which is sort of like saying, 'The best social program ever enacted by Adolph Hitler'--Joseph Stalin, or 'The most cutting edge album Hanson has ever released,' or 'The best time my penis ever fell-off in the shower.' Thanks, Pat Conroy. Thanks a lot.

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Sunday, August 30th, 2009
6:15 pm - all purpose, really basic, hinges-of-hades hot sauce
  • 10 habanero peppers

  • 10 jalapeno chiles (preferably red)

  • 1 large onion, minced

  • 1 6-ounce can of tomato paste

  • 1 1/4 cups white vinegar

  • pinch of garlic powder

Roughly chop peppers, avoiding stems but keeping seeds. Pulse everything in a blender or food processor, until all ingredients are pulped. Scrape into a pan and bring to a boil. When cool, cover and refrigerate. Stuff has a half-life of plutonium--bacteria know better than to mess with it.

This stuff is like a Swiss Army knife of rectum wreckers: I'll put it in stir fry, or mix a little with mayo for a dip or sandwich spread. Adding V-8 juice gives you an approximation of a standard bottled hot sauce. Adding it to diced pineapple (or mango), with diced red onion and minced cilantro makes for a nice fruit salsa. Stirring it into jellies or fruit preserves and adding a little rum or Gran Marnier makes an awesome glaze for pork tenderloin. Play around. Have fun.

current mood: hot

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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
10:30 am - mr. bubble

This is a great article.  I don't buy Taibbi's thesis that Goldman/Sachs is the tendentious architect of repeated economic collapse. They're a predatory corporate monolith helmed by lying, opportunistic vultures. Their tentacles in government and the Federal Reserve are worthy of an anti-trust suit. But the Dan Brownish conspiracy hook is a stretch. All we're missing is a jpeg. of Hank Paulson, dressed as an albino monk. Still, a comprehensive argument on a complex subject.

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Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
5:38 pm - the usual benediction
Hope your holidays are kicking ass.

As you were...

current mood: cold

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Friday, October 3rd, 2008
3:37 pm - the best band in the universe

Just twigged on this, a memory from long ago: I'm sitting in my mother's house, watching TV. Clicking through channels, I find a killer live version of Stevie Wonder's song, 'Superstition.'

I shimmy into my chair, commence to enjoy the funk.

Just then, two friends walk through the door, hefting cases of beer on their shoulders. As the last strains of Stevie's electric piano fade, Ernie and Burt fill the screen. My buddies gawk at the Muppets, give me a look of total disgust, spin on their heels and leave. For several days in school, I am ostracized. Even now, I don't think the fuckers entirely believe me, (and I never did find out what happened to Ernie's ice cube collection).

Through band practices and pub debates I voice my conviction that Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem are among the world's best bands. There is scoffing, and there is ridicule. Yet the evidence remains

Buddy Rich

Alice Cooper

Johnny Cash w/The Electric Mayhem

The Muppets do Rammstein

The Electric Mayhem: Behind The Music

behind the music

current mood: nostalgic

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Thursday, September 18th, 2008
10:54 am - for fans of david foster wallace

Harpers Magazine has PDFs of the articles DFW wrote for them. Several good pieces are available through the LA Times, as well.



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7:58 am - george washington had five dicks and his pants fit him like a glove

As part of my ongoing campaign to never again craft a coherent paragraph, I bring you the following historical narrative:

current mood: amused

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Monday, September 15th, 2008
10:42 am - D.F.W.

He was the only contemporary writer with the stylistic chops to pull-off an Axl Rose bandanna.

I was kidding when I made fun of it. I was jealous, we all were. I'll miss him.

current mood: aggravated

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Monday, June 23rd, 2008
7:05 am - pissing on the angels
R.I.P. George Carlin.

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Monday, June 2nd, 2008
10:04 am - this is so much easier than writing!
Tom Lenks gives me my pre-coffee chuckle for the day. Thanks, Tom.

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Thursday, May 15th, 2008
6:30 pm - silly but fun

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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
12:28 am - I'm living the dream

The one where I'm boning Nigella Lawson in a vat of fudge and prawns and she turns into 100 squirrels. Then, a freak with a machete chases me in the halogen starkness of a neon moon to my eventual, violent end.

Treacly optimism, per usual. Would've made a good music video.

current mood: nervous

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